bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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