So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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