i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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