I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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