I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize
