you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
