OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
