Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
