Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
