STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
