..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He felt like a one man threesome
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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