Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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