oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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