I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
