You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize