Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
