My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
