So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
