She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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