Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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