what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
