Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
