I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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