he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
