Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
