I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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