I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
