So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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