We're like a lot better than the average bears
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You are a genius and a whore.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize