A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
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sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
True strength comes from lack of pants
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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