Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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