I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
