Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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