Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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