if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize