Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Even my vagina gasped.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
