Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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