We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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