You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
