dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
