How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
