Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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