Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
