she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
