May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize