i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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