brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
