waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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