I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
