Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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