Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
