I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
