My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
