Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I have tasted many bathrooms
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