I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
