i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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