I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
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If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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