In the future we'll all be gay
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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