dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize