Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?