she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
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Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
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At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.