I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My hand turned me down
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.