Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
