the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
