you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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