You can't special order awesome
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
