he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Randomize
