Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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