Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
